The tape is on a never ending loop for most of us.

But my only problem with some of this is that most people don’t really know how to change their thinking. So telling people this philosophy, no matter how well intended, is very frustrating for most. And worst, it sounds like new-age mumbo jumbo, so most people can never benefit from the message.

The real issue, the real problem if I may call it that, is changing the recordings we play in our heads. It is easy for someone to say be positive, think big or think rich, tell yourself you are the greatest. But the hard part is getting that message to be heard when what we have been hearing for 20, 30 or more years are all the negative things from others and ourselves.

We can’t do whatever we want without money. We aren’t as attractive as movie stars. We don’t have Ivy League educations or connections. We’re overweight. It’s irresponsible to dream of big things when I’m just little ole’ me.

The recordings in our heads are numerous and they’ve been reinforced for a long time. We’ve recorded them from family members, friends, teachers, bosses, sometimes strangers who give us that look that puts us back “in our place.” And it is hard to erase those messages. Unfortunately it is human nature, at least as we’ve been conditioned, to focus more on the negative than the positive. When positive things happen we call it luck or even divine intervention. When negative things happen we think that’s just life.

Think of how you can go a whole day, even getting the occasional compliment on your clothing or work, but if one person says something negative about it, our instinct is to override all that was positive and remember what  the negative comment was.

So then how do we erase or re-record the message?

It’s not easy. I still am working on it myself and I expect it will take some time. But one of the key components of getting rid of the negative messages is to first not let any more get in there. You have enough to deal with already with all the others. Putting up your internal firewall involves the same process as removing the older messages.

It means recognizing that all those negative comments or messages, whether new or old, have very little to do with you. Instead they have everything to do with the person sending it your way and their own issues. The truth is most people are simply unhappy and unhappy people project negative things even when they might seem well-intended. Unfortunately, some of these people and messages are so strong that they are hard to ignore, but the true nature of them is the same. They have very little to nothing to do with you.

No one and I mean no one, knows you like you do. They may think they do. And they may know you well. But they don’t know you like you know you.

And even though over the years, we have let those outside judgments and societal expectations color our own view of ourselves, that does not mean it is who we really are. The problem is we have often let those judgments impact us, even succumbing to fit what they thought of us.

But that does not make it you.

So before we can just think our way to success and riches by espousing positive mantras, we have to do the work of putting a stop to the negative self-images we have created or let others create for us. Sometimes you  have to clear space before you can replace what was there. That is why I think so many of these motivational messages don’t work in the long run for so many people. Most people inherently know, changing is not as simple as all of sudden saying positive things.

Don’t get me wrong, ultimately it is absolutely true that what you see for yourself and about yourself is indeed the key to realizing your potential. But while doing that it is very important to do the hard work of erasing what is playing in your head now that is holding you back.

When you do that, the message of who and what you really are and can be will play loud and clear. But first or simultaneously, erase the negative messages you’ve been playing, put there by people who are only projecting their own negative thoughts. You’ve let them determine who and what you are long enough don’t you think?

You can't escape natural laws.

Everything is mind.

When you realize what I am saying you will fully realize that ultimately we really do create our own reality. What we believe, what we expect, what we know, all have a direct impact on how successful we are and how happy we are.

It sounds like feel good hocus pocus but it is not. People talk about and believe in serendepity (the occurrence of events and happenings in a beneficial way when not looking for it) and luck, but have a hard time accepting the truth of mind operating like a magnet, which I believe is what leads to what others call luck and serendipity. If you hold on to doubt and negativity, then it is not all that surprising that negative things come your way, or you find it hard to sustain happiness and good fortune.

And it is definitely not surprising that when you fully believe in who you are and what you can and want to do, positive things find a way of coming your way, helping you get to what you want, even if you don’t immediately realize the progress is happening.

But for this universal truth to work you have to really believe in yourself and what you want, and as Bob Proctor, the motivational speaker said, you have to really expect what you want to happen will happen. Even the smallest doubts will be a hindrance and cause you to pull off the path, to force you out of the natural flow that happens when you tap into the universal truth that what we believe determines everything.

But when you really do think boldly and act accordingly,  as my wife and I like to say, then watch the many little things that happen and appear in your life that help move you in the direction of your dreams.

The very real truth is that the only thing holding you or anyone else back is our own mind and all the doubts and fears and recordings we play in our heads that say we cannot do something or we should not even dream it. When we believe those negative thoughts in any way, even the smallest, they have the power to destroy our inherent power.

You really are already successful, powerful and great. You just need to believe it and act upon it and drop the defeatist mindset. And by the way, I am not talking about faking it until you make it, like that old saying goes. Faking it may fool others but you will know you are faking. You will know you are living a facade.

I am talking about actually acting upon the real successful and great person you actually are. You don’t have to be a star yet, a millionaire yet, a political leader yet, to already be great. Those manifestations will come, but that does not mean who you are right now is not already someone to be proud of and who has great gifts for the world.

But mind is everything. You have to believe and know your worth and that all that comes from that worth – whether it is money, fame, power, or whatever, will come as long as you let the truth of this law of attraction run its course and you do your part.

Which means believe. In yourself. In your dreams. In your value. If you do that, the rest will come. And then others will call it luck or something else. But you will know, it came because you knew and expected it would.

After all you deserve it right?

Are we our skin color? Our religious affiliation? Our culture? Our political party?

Are we good? Bad? Smart? Dumb?

The thing is, when you really examine this question you realize that getting a firm grip on who we are is next to impossible. Because we are all of these things and more. We are these things at the same time and a different times. Who I am or was, yesterday is not exactly who I am today. Or who I am going to be tomorrow. At least this is true when I am living in true openness to what is front of me, as opposed to believing in rigid notions of who I am and what I believe.

There is the old saying that says every person is really three people, the person they think they are, the person others think they are, and the person they really are.

I have always remembered that phrase because I think it is so true. Except I think we are more than even three people. I think we are many more. But the point of the phrase is still quite interesting.

We all know how others perceive us is very often quite far from reality. But the most interesting part is that how we perceive ourselves is just as far removed from what we really are.

All too often this imbalance impacts us in a way that holds us back because for all sorts of reasons – memories of negative slights, self-esteem issues, comparing ourselves to more successful people – whatever it may be, but the result is that all too often we don’t see ourselves as the powerful, great people we really are.

By saying that we are powerful and great does not mean that we are perfect if only we could see it. No one is perfect. What it does mean is that each of us has a lot more control over what happens to us and what we can accomplish than we give ourselves credit for. Many of us have been conditioned to believe that we are not capable, that we can’t do great things.

That belief is all that separates us from fully blooming.

Understanding, or seeing ourselves, as we really are, beyond exterior shells, beyond, inner monologues that are often put there by what others have said about us through the years, is not easy. Our society is built on fitting in. It is what we learn in school at an early age. So taking on labels is part of the deal. Those labels give us a framework in which to operate. And unfortunately to also measure ourselves and other people. But what we don’t realize is that almost everybody is walking around fitting in these boxes, wearing these labels, and so when we compare our lives to theirs we are not really seeing them either, so our comparison is to an illusion.

So is there any wonder that we hardly know our real selves at all?

I am like every one else in this regard. I am trying to peel away all the layers of labels and expectations, positive ones and negative ones, and get to the true me. It is a process. But it is a process that is well worth the effort. Something tells me that discovering that true self, introducing ourselves to him or her, has to be an empowering and freeing experience like no other.

Who are we indeed?

 Are you Republican or Democrat? Liberal or conservative? Pro-Palin or anti-Palin?Christian or something else?

 Those are just the beginning. It even extends to making sure you are easily defined ethnically or racially. As anyone who has somewhat of an ambiguous ethnic look knows, the desire to label you is constant. “What are you?” is a regular question these people get.

 The truth is most people are not comfortable unless they know which boxes you fit in. It makes it easier for them to know how to deal with you. What they can say and not say. What things you share, and what you do not.

 Thus the labels.

 Yet the truth is most people, if left to natural ways of being, would flow between these boxes constantly, never being rigidly fixed in one place. Because we are at once complicated beings, and at the same time, the simplest of beings. But the pressure to label or fit into a box, causes us to live backwards. Most people pick a box, based on who they want to fit in with, or who pressures them the most, and then tailor their views and beliefs based on what defines that box rather than deciding what their views are and then seeing where that fits.

Christians are supposed to believe in Jesus but dare not follow or bow to Buddha. So if I am in that box, I guess that is what I better do or I will cause confusion, if not to me, at least to others around me.

 Liberals and Democrats are supposed to support Obama and hate Palin. Oh, o.k. then I guess I must hate her too even if I don’t and just find her amusing.

 This is how it goes unfortunately. The irony is we are not meant to be this way. We are not rigid boxes and the labels people put on us. We are free people with vastly varying views and needs. Whether that be in the area of religion, politics, relationships, or other choices, we are not fully realizing who and what we are when we limit our choices to boxes that don’t really exist at all. We spend our lives living up to some label or box that somebody else created a long time ago as a way to make their allegiances clear and easy.

 I for one do not choose to live that way. To live fully, people should be able to be everything that they are. Which means being able to embrace all the seeming contradictions that exist. Because here is the real hidden secret. When you embrace the contradictions, you learn that they actually do not exist. The big secret is that their are no contradictions. Those ideas evaporate when you live outside the boxes. The boxes are what prevent us from seeing that.

Try living without labels and see for yourself how much freer you are. It is an amazing thing. Reality and truth are not found inside boxes. But do know that stepping out of those boxes and labels others want to place on you, will cause others a bit of discomfort. Your doing so challenges easy and pre-conceived notions. And it really is amazing how much resistance there is when you do that.

 You really have to wonder why that is? And the answer to that will open you up even more.

I don’t remember where I saw that recently but it sure stuck in my head as an incredibly true statement. Those of us who work in entertainment very often come across people who make it their point to inform us that what we do is not “the real world.” I’ve never understand what was unreal about our world, but it is clear what is meant by that on a different level is that the pursuit of entertainment business success is somehow the pursuit of a fantasy and not realistic.

To that I always say/ask, what is it we should be pursuing? And the answer is something akin to 9 t0 5, more respectable work. And don’t get me wrong, I believe the world needs people pursuing all kinds of work, because without the 9 to 5′ers, and the factory workers, and the graveyard shift workers, and the doctors, etc., the world could not function.

But it is also true that the world could not function without art, without the ballet, and therefore dancers, without music, therefore without people who pursue music business success, and without movies, and therefore actors and producers and directors and crew. I have always thought it funny how people who find it high class to attend the ballet, don’t think so much of the dancers who pursue the dream of being dancers.

Crazy.

So ignore the people who try to stop you. Their motivation for saying negative things often has very little to do with you and everything to do with their lives and what they feel is missing. Know that when you go after your dream, it is what the world needs, because it is important for us to see that there are people willing to put it all out there to do what is they feel is in them. And know that deep down, even the naysayers, need you too.

A shooting star is special because of its rarity.

Sometimes, I dare say, most of the time, less is definitely more.

In the world of marketing and publicity one key component of strategy is determining how much publicity  or exposure is the right amount of publicity. Most people instinctively think the more they are in the public eye, the more people talk about them, the more shows they do, the more people hear about their product, the better.

True some of the time, but not all the time.

Which is often the hardest thing to convince a client of sometimes. Less is more. Familiarity breeds contempt. Both of these are very true statements and considerations. I often say, it is not how much they hear about you or your brand, it is when, where and how they hear or see it or you.

Scarcity marketing is a scary road for the very reason that it goes against our nature. But scarcity also raises value, gives a perception of exclusivity, importance, and definitely leaves ‘em wanting more, which is always better than the alternative of making ‘em tired of seeing or hearing you or your brand.

Yes there is a balance that has to be found when doing scarcity marketing. After all, there still is the need to make sure your public wants what you are offering, and that the buzz is still there. But there are ways of doing that without being everywhere you can, whenever you can. Think in terms of this: Would you rather be seen as special or ordinary? Special is rare. Ordinary is, well, ordinary, commonplace.

Scarcity marketing isn’t the answer all the time. But it is certainly an important consideration when thinking about getting yourself and your brand out there.

Do your thing no matter what.

I often come across so many people who are waiting for the powers that be (or at least the people and institutions they perceive to be the powers that be) to confer success on them.

What I am most amazed by with this is the amount of energy some will put into waiting for, and working for, those “powers” to give them their break, to help them put out that album, to cast them in a show, to buy their script, whatever it is they want from agents, studios, record labels, producers, etc., you know, those powers that be.

The truth is while some of those people and institutions can help make you a success, ultimately no one can convey on you what is not already there. Because even if you were to be plucked from where you are, success will not stay with you if you don’t have it in you to be successful. Success is not a place, like so many think of it. It is a trait, and you can and are successful if it is in you to be so, with or without the powers that be. The people in the business who are successful, for long periods, have that quality. The ones who get “lucky” and reach a place some call success, without being a real success, rarely if ever, sustain that level.

I say to people all the time, you create your own success, it is not handed out to you. Others, those powers that be, notice what is already there, and jump in, and with their added resources, of course the trappings of success come. But you don’t have to wait to be successful. In fact if you are waiting for it, you probably don’t have the trait. Don’t get me wrong, there are lots of successful people who haven’t been “discovered” yet and who don’t have the outer trappings. But these people usually already know they are successes. And they are too busy manifesting that success, and the traits that make them so, to be waiting around. You find these people creating their own productions while “waiting” for others to notice. You find them putting on their own shows, getting their own bookings, while “waiting” for the labels and A&R people to come around.

In other words they are too busy being successful to sweat the fact that others haven’t conveyed upon them their ideas of “success.” Of course most all of us want the money and recognition that comes from success coupled with real clout. But ultimately successful people keep doing what they do. Because they know, no matter what, who and what they accomplish, is still largely in their own hands, not those of anyone else.

 The truth is no matter how talented a person is, no matter how beautiful or handsome, how great the voice, if you don’t bring in the money, or show the potential to bring in the money, you won’t get the chance to do the entertaining part, at least on a big scale. I say this because it is so important for artists, in all fields of entertainment, to recognize that doing the same thing others do, sounding like everybody else, looking like everybody else, repeating what has been done, is not going to make you a commodity. You have to stand out, in some way or another. Or what’s the point really?

 Understanding the business side is also important when it comes to recognizing that labels, producers, directors, and others who use your talents, even managers, are not generally doing it out of personal friendship, but because they see a commodity. This doesn’t mean that real friendships can’t happen in the business, because they do. But it takes a lot of time and money to make a hit, or create a new star, and in most cases, all decisions are based on dollar considerations, not personal likes and dislikes.

 Most of this seems obvious, but believe me, it is not always so. I think of show business as one part show and two parts business. Recognizing that will help the artist get a lot further in this industry.

 “If I hire you, I expect I’ll get an article in The Los Angeles Times on me or my band, right?”

 Uh, no, not necessarily.

 It depends on you, who you are, what you’ve done and what angles we can come up with that make your story interesting. Believe it or not, you cannot just buy a story in The Los Angeles Times or any other reputable media outlet. And let me tell you, even with our connections, we can’t make client with little or no success a feature story on the front page. At least not all the time.

I am truly amazed at the people who want to hire a publicist, who bring little or no successes to point to, who wish to pay the publicist very little, and then expect to get featured in top media outlets.

It is important that you be realistic when you start on publicity. I do believe it is important to start on publicity early, but when doing so, also be realistic about the type of coverage you can expect until you have something story-worthy to talk about. And very often, that is what you are paying a good publicist to do, to help you craft a story about you, your band, your product, into something that is newsworthy, something that will indeed get the attention of those people who can bring your story to the masses.

But if you look at pr like its guaranteed media, at least right away, you are not doing yourself any favors and you are missing out on all the other ways good pr and publicity can help you build your career and profile.

Is this what you're counting on? Don't hold your breath.

It is true that these days there are many, many ways to get the public’s attention, with the advent of so many outlets, channels, Internet options, blogs, and media out there. But it is also true that the level of noise has risen considerably in the last few years. More and more people are clamoring for attention, since the ability to make noise has gotten easier. If all you want to do is make noise, then that is not so difficult. YouTube has given anybody with a camera phone or a camera the ability to broadcast the craziest of things. And again, for some, doing so has catapulted them to their 15 minutes of fame.

But unless you find a way to go viral, as some have been fortunate enough to do, sustaining those hits beyond 15 minutes can be extremely difficult. That’s where planning comes in. Do you know what to do once the attention turns your way? Are you ready to capitalize on it?

These are things that require more than a cursory thought. And they definitely require as much energy as what you put into your craft or business. I have seen musicians, for example, work so hard on their music, spending small fortunes on instruments, rehearsals and recordings, but then say they have no money to spend on publicity. What a waste of their hard-earned money. Might as well play the lottery. The odds are probably the same for success with that strategy.

Am I saying this because I am in the business of publicity? No. I’m saying it because it is true. Smart companies and people recognize the importance of allocating resources and time to promotion. It’s why major movies will often spend the same amount for publicity and advertising as they do to make a movie. They realize making it is only half the battle. Getting people to notice is the other half.

So if you want to get noticed, don’t put all your energy and resources into your art form or business, reserve some for letting the world know you do what you do. If you don’t you’re waiting on that lightning to strike. And you’re not alone in an open field, there are millions of others out there with you. So it’ll take more than wishful thinking and talent to draw that bolt of lightning.